This two part series from This Undeserved Life is from Author Natalie Brenner. She is a fellow Mom of two babies who were born less than 5 months apart. I am so excited for you to read the second excerpt from her book. She has generously offered a copy of her book to one of my awesome readers. So sit back and enjoy the rest of this chapter and make sure you enter the giveaway at the end.
An excerpt from This Undeserved Life
People refer to me as Super Mom or Super Woman. But these titles are the furthest from the truth. I am just as much a wreck as any other mom. I am a hot mess and need Jesus just as much. I am unsure how to tear down the false beliefs that I somehow have it together more than the next mom. It is probably the same as tearing down every other false belief and stigma: by being honest.
And so I am. I remind mamas I cry a lot, constantly wondering if I am messing up my child’s attachment forever. I need Jesus. Just like every other mama, I needed Jesus during our “waiting season,” in discovering we were pregnant (both times), as we considered our son’s situation, the moment we said “yes” and trusted He would provide, and when his birth mama chose us. I need Jesus every single moment of every single day and I know when Sage’s little brother arrives, I will need even more of Him.
Artificial or virtual twinning, whichever name society prefers, is certainly not for everyone, but it isn’t set apart for super women either. Raising two babies less than five months apart, in two different developmental stages, is going to be hard. I know this. But I also know He is with me. He prepared me for this. He used the weighty wait to create a hunger in me to be broken and poured out into little humans. He was refining me to invest in these little souls; it was God showing me how to teach my boys what it meant to love and be loved well. If I teach these two how to love well, I will have done my job. It’s easier said than done, and I’m not ready to think I know what I am doing. I simply agreed to take this beloved journey one day at a time, and be honest along the way.
There are so many reasons not to virtual twin and I agree with them. Before I knew I was pregnant again, I had an inkling we would live some beautiful, unique story. When our social worker told us we shouldn’t be trying to also get pregnant while adopting, something in my gut said, “But what if we were made for this?”
As we approached our biological baby’s due date, I relished in our time with Sage as an only child. He will hold this spot briefly: five months if all goes well. He won’t remember being an only child either. For us, this was unique and precious. We had a few months to be parent to one, before inviting our second treasure home. We will only experience being parents to one for a few, short months. This is unique and precious.
We don’t know how the story will unfold, how parenting these two so close in age will work out, but we are thankful for the opportunity to do our best. I fully believe that doing my best means constantly stopping to ask questions, listening to others, hearing from adoptees, other virtual twins, and people of color. More than ever, I am learning that loving my boys well meant listening to others who had already lived a story similar to theirs. I will continue to listen for the sake of my soon to be artificial twins.
I want to give a huge thank you to Natalie for sharing her story and giving away a copy of her new book. Make sure you follow all social media outlets for Natalie and fill out the rest of the giveaway entries below.
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NATALIE BRENNER is wife to Loren and mom to two under two. She authored This Undeserved Life: Uncovering the gifts of grief and fullness of life. She likes her wine red, ice cream served by the pint, and conversations vulnerable. Natalie believes in the impossible and hopes to create safe spaces for every fractured soul. You can love Jesus or not, go to church or not: she’d love to have coffee with you. Natalie is a bookworm, a speaker, and a wanna-be runner. Connect with her at NatalieBrennerWrites.com and join her popular email list.
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