Can we talk about the Target dollar section for a moment? I went to Target this morning and like every trip I park at the side with the Starbucks, because, you know, fuel for shopping. I can’t remember what I needed, I am 99% sure I forgot to buy whatever it was I went there for because, Target.
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As I am wandering around the magical aisles and casually throwing items into my cart that I didn’t know I needed, like a child’s dance tutu (it was on CARTWHEEL!), I made my way to the Dollar Section. We all know this little Target gem, it’s where you grab a cheap crappy toy for your toddler so you don’t have to spend $19.99 on another Frozen toy that plays the chorus of “Let It Go” on repeat until it starts to sound possessed.
The Target Dollar sections is like my Broke Back Mountain, “I just can’t quit you!” This is a black hole of spending; hot pink and teal puppy dog LED lights, why not! I’ll find a use for them. Paper straws, of course! Who doesn’t love a soggy straw to drink their ‘mommy juice’ from?!
I realized how bad my addiction was to the dollar section when, a week ago, I enlisted my 12 year old son to help me dig through every single part of the dollar section for a hot pink bulldog cell phone case…. for MYSELF. That’s right, folks, I am a 35 year old woman who decided that she needed this case… the problem, they only had it for the iPhone 7 not 7 Plus! Oh the agony! I was ready to drop $5 on a really bulky phone case with no actual practical use, shaped like a dog because I was somehow mesmerized by this magical little bubble within the mommy mecca of shopping.
Now, when the dollar section first started it was harmless enough, you drop $1 on some random piece of crap that made your small human really happy, now there is shit in there for $10…. TEN FREAKING DOLLARS. It’s still crap, just pricier crap. Like a scale, yes a pink scale…. you can go to the bathroom department of Target and get a less crappier one for the same price, it just won’t be pink… but it will work more than twice.
I left the dollar section today with 3 cans of silly string, 3 squishy animals, 4 packs of paper straws (necessity for mommy juice) some valentines for my kid’s class, and what I am pretty sure is either a hamster feeding dish or REALLY tiny jewelry dish…. either way, I needed it, it said “fries before guys.”
I genuinely feel happy wondering around the target dollar section picking up cute holiday home decor only appropriate for a dorm room or child’s play house…until I get home and realize I can’t put this crap up in my house! It’s half the size it should be and usually pepto pink. But hey, it was a dollar, three dollars, 5 dollars, whatever, I’m too lazy to return stuff anyway so I have a closet filled with probably hundreds if not thousands of dollars worth of target dollar section crap.
Oh, man, where’s my mommy juice?!