Day One: Starting Fresh

Oh hey there! I have seriously been hardcore MIA and I have really missed my little space on the interwebs. I am back and ready to get back into my blog full force. I decided that today, August 26, 2019, I am starting fresh and getting back to being my old, happy self, with a fresh new outlook on my life. A new vision of what life can be and work towards that vision. No more free falling and feeling out of control. Bare with me as I write this out over this week and get it all out there. It’s all very personal and raw so just know that if you are feeling down or alone or depressed, I have been there. I get it and you can come back from the deepest, darkest moments of your life.

Fall Sweater
back to being my dorky, nerdy self

First Things First. The last post I made was a very difficult one for me to write. It was less than a month of going through one of my lowest points of depression. I had felt depressed after my parents died 9 days apart but other than that I had really only struggled with anxiety. I would get anxious over situations or when a major life event happened it would make it worse but it wasn’t depression. Depression was very different. I let myself get to a really low and dark place. It was not an easy feeling to deal with. I, thankfully, had the absolute best support system in my cousins, my sister and her husband and some really amazing girlfriends. I still struggle with it at times, more like something will trigger it and it can be bad or it can be a minor reaction to it. My 10 year wedding anniversary was really hard and thank God for my sister who literally came to my rescue. I don’t know where I’d be without her, my cousins, my friends and therapist. All this to say do not feel ashamed if you are depressed!! Yes, it is uncomfortable to admit and hiding it seems easier than dealing with it until it’s not. I get it, I have been there and I know how incredibly hard it is to reach out and admit how hard things have gotten. If you need to email me!

Onto Day One! Each day I want to do an update on how things are going but also a small little post below that on how I got to where I am today. What I have experienced and maybe this will help someone else who is struggling with depression to seek help or not feel so along. This past year has been a huge life change. Some of it has absolutely been for the best and other parts have been a major learning experience. Good or bad it has helped me grow in so many ways. It has actually made me a better Mom, which in the beginning I felt like the worst Mom ever! I feel like this past year of growing and falling and getting back up has brought me to a place where I truly know what I want in my life and can clearly see where I am going.

Facing our pasts. I believe we have to deal with our pasts in order to have a really amazing future. We have to heal our losses and sometimes that takes hitting some type of rock bottom in order to get to the point where we are willing to face them.

I hope, in some way, these posts help someone who is going through something similar. Whether it’s divorce, death of a loved one, depression, feeling alone or even just a divorced Mom who has it together and wants to give me advice! I am all for it.

And a monsterous THANK YOU to my family and friends who have been there every step of the way to encourage me and support me. I love you all more than you will ever know.

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